The Sacrament of Confession

I always feel the sacrament of penance is super powerful.
Whenever I didn’t feel right, it just refills me with comfort.

When things weren’t right, when I felt so terrible, confession healed me.
It’s not about counting sins, but how spiritually poor and the desire for God’s healing power.

It’s like dumping all the darkness in heart like piles of garbage and refilling it with warmth and comfort.
I know well that God must forgive, but it’s the garbage cleaning process that help me to forgive myself.
To me, it’s always the problem of self-blame that I have totally forgotten about gentleness.

It’s from being total surrender to God during confession that sparkled me of what I’ve been lacking.
And I suddenly experienced what it meant by “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 5:3)

Thanks for the wonderful experience of penance, and the reminder to always be grateful.

"I will recount all your wonders, I will rejoice in you and be glad, and sing psalms to your name, O Most High." (Ps 9:2-3)

Bits and pieces

It has been two weeks, but it felt like a month.

An old man who didn’t throw away anything and showered once a month, building a shack in the backyard all by himself

He washed his floor bloom in the kitchen sink

He fell off the ladder and broke his head, and drove himself to the hospital while bleeding

He admitted to the hospital for three days for operations

He refused to take a bath upon his return to the house, and immersed his bloody clothes in the bathroom sink where everyone used

Then there’s a strong stingy body odour in the room that triggered my hay fever

Five chicken pets that have never cleaned

The metal rust at the water taps that have never cleaned for ages

A mouse in the house and cockroach kept entering my room every night while I scared it away with Dettol

And the quarrel between him and the housemate every night

The corridor filled with not-in-used appliances

The fridge and the kitchen

The kitchen

Little possum living just outside the bathroom

The chicken pets that have never bathed

Boiling an egg in such a kitchen has been such a difficult task

My little invention on "a clean chair"

The cutest dish I have ever made in the house after cleaning the microwave that stacked dirt for ages

It felt like a nightmare to me for the past two weeks

I have tried to put up with it but then got into terrible distress

The Eucharist Adoration was a huge relief to me and I realised I nearly broke down emotionally

The big move, new culture and environment, and plus the dirtiness, quarrels and complaints in the house have stressed me out

I recalled what I have heard about how it is like to have a house that you don’t want to return, and the only moment at peace is at church

How I desperately wanted the mass to last forever, so that I could be at peace for much longer

Glad that it was just an accommodation, and the great desire to move out have brought me out of the situation

So I have now moved to a new place!

My need is simple, a clean room.

So here it is, and I even got a space for my prayer corner.

My prayer corner

Yes, there’re still much problems to be solved, and I still need time to recover my mood.

A still nice walk along the lake, the peace and calm and a little crazy moments for myself are all so refreshing. 

Time for crazy photos:

Gorgeous view along the lake outside my living place!

Beautiful sunshine after the pouring rain yesterday (The rain has caused flooding in the campus!)

Hello Parrot!

And parrots

And some crazy times~ :P

I still remembered the phrase, “When one is in desolation, one could not be comforted by all means, but it is the memory of consolation that bring you out of it."

I found my true consolation in here, and I really loved the “Trinity” design of the Church.

St John the Apostle Church

Sunny and Rainy

Here comes my story today

My housemate and I went for a leisure walk this afternoon. We have enjoyed the sunshine and saw many adorable kangaroos along our way to the city centre (Figure 1).

Figure 1 Adorable kangaroos along our pathway!

We have admired the nice blue sky with fluffy white clouds and the calm and peaceful lake. And I caught sight of so many animals, including seagulls, magpies, ducks, giant lizards resting on a rock with its same colour.
After chilling out by the lake side, we decided to walk back. We were a bit hungry when we were walking, and started chatting about what to do for dinner. We saw beautiful clouds and crowds of kangaroos along the way (Figure 2).

Figure 2 Lake Burley Griffin

Then the sky started to darken.
It was early for sunset, I thought.
Or perhaps the thick clouds signalled some rains tomorrow (Figure 3).

Figure 3 Beautiful clouds

Then gradually a drop of rain fell on us. Then two drops. Then heavy rain.
Winds started to roar, and trees were shaken, and we were about to enter the bush.
We were wet.
Lightning seemed to be the next natural step, so we run back to the main road, to stay away from trees.
I started to panic, we were in the middle of no where and were not next to any bus stops.
But she was calm, and warned me not to get into any people’s vehicles even if they offered a ride, for safety reasons.
So I followed her lead on the road, kept prayers in my heart to calm down myself.
And we walked faster and faster, and got wetter and wetter.
Thanks to her excellent direction sense and Google maps, we finally made our way back.

It was the second time when I felt lost in the nature. The first time was in Medjugorje, when the sun was setting and I lost my way. But this time the sun was also setting and I was caught by adverse weather. Glad that I have companion with me, and she has been calming me down along the way. I guess I was panicked because I could not recognise the directions along the way, and the adverse weather just scared me.
But I knew so well that I have to keep going and not let that fear overwhelmed me.
Prayers have been calming me down in both situations, thanks God.

Path of the day

政治、宗教

來到Canberra認識的第一個人，是同屋C。

當她知道我是從香港來的時候，就說她寫了一篇政治不正確的文：HK is not part of China.
她認為香港人自我身分認同是不屬於任何民族，不是英國也不是中國，但就有香港這個身份歸屬感。
然後一個星期還未過，就在一個聯誼活動認識了位研究香港的人兄，他是做雨傘運動後的香港發展。然後，大家討論了很多香港問題，他說了對香港的看法，而我也分享了一下自己的感受。
然後在想，怎麼來了還未夠一星期就不停討論香港問題，我怎麼好像在做政治研究...
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言談之下發現這位人兄原來是個Born Catholic, 不過已經很久沒有去聖堂了。他說一是因為小時候被父母逼去聖堂，所以有不愉快的陰影；二是覺得很悶啊，又沒有這個習慣，就不再去了。我道學校那聖堂很方便嘛，只不過距離他住處數步而已（他住學校宿舍），叫他有空就去去吧。
然後星期天早上，他真的去了彌撒！想起我在香港常常拉著很久沒上彌撒的友人去，突然有種莫名的成功感😝
我問他重新到聖堂有什麼感受，他只道感覺很複雜，感覺不錯，只不過心理上仍然覺得有種童年的不愉快感。個人奉勸各位父母可別逼得太緊，原來真會出現反效果的...😅

撞親個頭...唔係我...不過感覺都差不多了

很多親朋戚友都給我送上問候，十分感謝。
來到Canberra的第一個星期，遇到的奇人，發生的奇事特別多。
本想今天回家後就一一盡錄，怎料還未到家門又多一件震撼事。
鑒於心情還未平復，沒料到第一個post竟然是紀錄這樣的一件事...

話說今天從學校回來，差不多到家門的時候，看到屋主駕車外出。
我心裏想：今天另一位同屋 J 從北京回來，屋主大概是去接她吧。
看到屋主向我微笑，我還輕鬆地向他揮揮手。
還未到家門就聽到同屋 C 的說話聲，當我還在想究竟她和誰說話的時候，她一見到我就很緊張地說：屋主撞到個頭，腫得很緊要，血流披面的自己駕車去醫院了。
同屋C說屋主剛才敲她房門，說有緊急的事，請她幫手餵及鎖好他養的五隻雞，他要去醫院。
然後同屋C一出來就看見他血流披面，原來他搭建後園棚屋的時候，梯子掉了下來，撞到他的頭。同屋C一看就覺得很不對勁，堅決要叫救護車，但屋主堅持要自己去醫院，C跟他吵了一會然後屋主奪門而出駕車往醫院去了。
同屋C邊說邊著急，說很內疚沒有召喚到救護車：要是他駕車途中休克了怎麼辦？要是他死了怎麼算？又找不到他兒女的電話，然後還驚慌到流淚。
我見狀不對，立刻安撫一下C，又不是她的錯，送她一包日本玄米茶冷靜一下吧。
我問到C最近的醫院車程不是太遠，大概這個時間他已經在醫院了，這樣吧，過一個鐘讓他檢查後打電話給他問問狀況吧。
冷靜了一陣，C出去後園看看狀況，然後驚慌地叫我去看。原來後園像個兇案現場，梯子、棄置家電、地下磚頭，全部都是血跡斑斑，的確恐怖。我見C是在驚慌失措，就立刻打電話給屋主問他狀況。
屋主呈強的說自己沒什麼事，還打趣說護士話他愚蠢。
我問他要不要留院，他說自己希望不用啦。

後來從牆壁看到緊急聯絡人電話，找到他兒子的聯絡，告訴了他兒子的狀況，叫他去醫院看看他。
再後來就是知道屋主要住院，還可能要轉去另一間醫院，然後他兒子告訴我會把屋主的座駕駕回來。
然後就是安撫同屋了。

然後沖杯玫瑰花茶定定驚，感嘆一下今天到底怎麼了，我只是想回家寫寫文找找工作....

然後希望明天會更好...